Saturday, January 7th 2006


Your neighbor has put you to shame (Pro 25:8)
posted @ 2:15 am in [ Overeaters ]
*no calorie count-Chinese buffet
Relief from the Food Pushers~~Kathryn Martyn, M.NLP     

The well meaning person is not out to sabotage you, but is remembering the last time she said no when she wanted to say yes.She wished someone would have made the choice for her, and given her the dessert, so she is now she’s doing you the favor. She is wrong, but there it is. Devise a plan in advance for dealing with this situation.

First, if you do want some, have some, enjoy it and move on with your life. It is not a big deal to have a dessert, even if you’re already over full. It’s your choice, but back to our dilemma, when someone else tries to make that choice for you.

If you’re making an effort to make better choices, choosing to eat only foods that really appeal to you, learning to say no when you just don’t want any, you can tell the food pusher, “No, thanks, I’m feeling a little queasy,” or “I think I’m having an allergic reaction to something I ate, my skin feels funny,” or “I can’t eat another bite,” and then when they push the food in front of you, just pretend it is made of plastic, like the display in a Chinese restaurant. It’s not meant to be eaten, just admired.

Why do we need to resort to trickery to make our own food choices? Because food pushers are not going to accept your arguments, no matter how well you state your case, so don’t bother fighting a battle you can’t win. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself.

Remember the next time you feel the urge to push food on someone, food means love in our society, but choice means more.

If you’ve got ideas for dealing with food pushers, please comment.

EFT ideas:

If you feel like the issue is caused by someone else, the food pusher in this example, then your efforts at using EFT to change yourself aren’t likely to have much effect, or are they? What if you considered the feelings and emotions that come up when you aren’t allowed to make your own choices. Is it anger, annoyance, or something else?

If you know in advance these things are likely to occur, you can preempt some of the emotional sting by using a round or more of EFT such as:

“Even though I know my mother will try to get me to eat more than I want, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I accept her as well.”

“Even though I know I’ll give in and eat when food is being pushed in my face, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”

“Even though I wish people would just leave me alone and let me eat what I want, I deeply and completely accept myself and forgive them for being so idiotic.”

This is a good time of year to start working on this because the plates of goodies are starting to show up. Practice and let me know if this helps you with the food pushers in your life.
Kathryn Martyn, M.NLP

 

editor’s note~~My Mom was a food pusher. She was morbidly obese. My Dad was angry at her all the time after he became obese. He was the one that labeled her a “food pusher”, amongst other things. Their weight frightened me and I never allowed myself to become heavy. Mom used to get quite angry at me as an adult when I simply said no to her offerings. She loved to cook, serve and eat and it was an insult to turn her down. I understood that, but allowed her to express anger and disappointment at me. My oldest daughter claims she is obese because Grandma pushed food at her. We must move past excuses.
My husband is a food pusher, but he doesn’t prepare it so there is nothing more than a little begging me to try, and after a firm no he will cease.  I figured out how to keep these scenes at a minimum. As soon as I finish eating I brush my teeth.  When he offers something, although he already knows my answer, “I say, I can’t, I’ve already brushed my teeth.”  He realizes I stand my ground on this (besides having no cavities for 4 years). Perhaps if you find a similar excuse and say, I can’t” instead of a “no” which will elicit negotiations, you can dissuade the food pusher too. What technique works for you?